Boundaries – Sometimes it’s OK to say ‘no’.
Ann Leonor

ICF qualified Career Coach

You can’t help it if someone at work is being a dick unpleasant

But you can control how you handle it. 

You’re NOT always going to like every one of your colleagues.

And that’s ok.

TRY THIS: Next time someone makes an unnecessarily critical remark or is being unpleasant;

Say this to yourself: Not my circus, not my Monkeys!!! Basically, their bad humour does not affect you.

Building a boundary in work takes time and has to become a focused habit before it will come naturally to you.  I find the best way to do it is to visualise an imaginary shield between you and the person that irks you so no matter what they say or do it will not infiltrate the shield.

It also helps if you put yourself in their shoes and see if you can understand why they are acting the way they are, maybe they are going through a tough time? Maybe they are feeling insecure and see you as a threat? I would go as far as to say it could benefit you to try and find some common ground with the person and see if that could help how the person interacts with you.

If you have tried both approaches and the person is affecting your job or how you can deliver/complete tasks it might be worth speaking to them or if that is not an option you could speak to your manager for advice on how to deal with this.  The best approach if you do need to speak to your manager is to speak only in facts and get across that you are raising this as you want to get your tasks done if it comes across as if you have a personal gripe with the person your Manager may not take it seriously and may think that you are not being professional. 

Remember:

“Not my circus, not my Monkies!!!
Their bad humour does not affect me”

Five simple habits to manage workplace stress

10 days of support to help you escape the cycles of stress at work

Boundaries – Sometimes it’s OK to say ‘no’.
Ann Leonor

ICF qualified Career Coach

Reclaim a calm moment in your day

We are living in a fast paced world where it is a badge of honour to say your are “Super Busy”. Burnout and overwhelm are part of our daily vocabulary (they shouldn’t be!!!) When you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed by a heavy workload, or having to deal with difficult relationships within your team every single day … stress will build and build until you reach the edge of burnout. You need to find a  way to be calm, confident and productive at work. Your job should never come before your wellbeing. Here’s a quick exercise that you can fit in even if your day is jam-packed!

Don't accept stress as “normal

Do a body scan at your desk when you feel overwhelmed. Take 60 seconds a day to do your body scan, check in with yourself without distraction so that you perform better, even when the pressure is on.

 

Introducing...

The 60-second Body Scan

Have you ever sat at your desk and see that you have 5 meetings booked in and 100+ unread emails along with actions from the meetings the previous day and end up paralysed with stress wondering how you will cope without having to work 24/7?

In that moment a Body Scan is the best gift you can give yourself to ease the feeling of overwhelm and get yourself feeling more at ease to tackle what you have on your plate and the best thing is that it only takes 60 seconds and this is how you can achieve it.

How to do the 60-second body scan

You can do your body scan as you read along with the instructions below:

  1. Sitting at your desk ensure that both of your feet are planted onto the ground with your hands in your lap.
  2. Close your eyes if that is comfortable but if not just focus on a point near you and keep your gaze planted.
  3. Start by taking a deep breath, hold for 4 seconds and then exhale, notice your feet and how they feel.
  4. Take another breath, hold for 4 seconds and then exhale, move your attention to your knees and how they feel
  5. Take another breath, hold it again and exhale moving your attention to your hips and how they feel
  6. Take another breath, hold it again and exhale moving your attention to your stomach and how it  feels
  7. Take another breath, hold it again and exhale moving your attention to your back and how it feels
  8. Take another breath, hold it again and exhale moving your attention to your shoulders and how they feel
  9. Take another breath, hold it again and exhale moving your attention to your neck and how it feels
  10. Take your last deep breath, hold for 4 seconds and moving your attention to your head and how it feels, if you have the time stay focused on your head for two rounds of breaths

All the time during this exercise you are scanning your body to check in on how each part of you is feeling. If you are feeling stressed you may notice 

Did you notice…

  • that your stomach feels a little sick or 
  • that your shoulders are up around your ears and you had not noticed
  • that your head is feeling a bit tight which could be that your blood pressure is raised while you are feeling under pressure  

If you felt one or all of these it’s possible that stress is affecting your ability to focus. When your productivity is being affected by stress consider:

  • Do you need to attend all of the meetings you have sceduled?
  • Can you talk to your manager about your workload 
  • How you can delgate your tasks. 

This very simple and quick exercise is the best form of self-care you can perform at work and afterward, you will feel better equipped to handle your day.

If you would like to learn more tips to help you manage stress be sure to sign up to my mailing list.